My middle has been complaining that she needs to see a dermatologist, right away! So, I made her an appointment for today.

While driving there, I knew in my gut that this would be a wot, but maybe the doctor would at least zap something under her eye.

Immediately I was put off by the fact that we were not seeing a doctor, but a physician’s assistant. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure they’re wonderful… if I were living in a rural town outside of Kalamazoo and this was the lone medical professional for 4 hours in all directions… but I’m not.

In any case, my daughter sits up there and starts with each and every concern she has, while the scriber quickly types each and every word that comes from her mouth.

Finally, after what sounded like a bunch of hog wash she was thinking to complain about, I realized the office staff would quickly catch on that I only circled “anxiety and depression,” but left the medication part blank. As if we could ever leave a specialist without bringing an A-Z dictionary of concerns.

Me: (to the stenographer) You can stop a few words back… she’s fine.

PA: (small laugh)(looks at my kid) Anything else bothering you?

Me: (does she have to take out the trash or something that she is shooting the shit with my all too eager kid?) I think we’re done here; that thing under her eye is a broken blood vessel and she has KP. We will just get the script.

Scribe: (rips off a coupon) We have a new program where it only costs $7 and they mail it to your home a…

Me: No thanks. I’ll pick it up.

PA: (to kid) Well if you think of anything, just….

Me: She’ll think of nothing; nothing wrong but some hypochondria and Keratosis Pialiar.

Scribe: Which pharmacy do you want me to send it?

Me: Same one I filled out in the lobby.

Scribe: Do you happen to know the address?

Me: I sure do. xx

Kid: Actually, I do have one more thing on my….

Me: Na, let’s go; you’re fine.

Now, you may be thinking, Rochelle, why so short patience?

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