I got that call the other day while en route to carpool.

Me: Hello?

Very Young Voice: Hi, I am calling from (school) about your daughter (x).

Me: Mmhm.

VYV: I am from the wellness department and it was brought to my attention…..

Me: Mmhm.

VYV: And I was wondering if anything is going on at home?

I love the run around and the pre compliments before the schools come on out and say the fuck what they called for.

What I don’t care for, is hearing a voice younger than my daughter’s talk to me about wellness and being an outlet for my child. …Heaven forbid something so natural as listening be free, but I digress.

Me: Nope, all good here.

VYV: Well there are some comments x made in class and it seems out of character.

Me: (Hears comments) I don’t know what she is saying, but you can rest assured, I’ll kick her in the ass and she’ll come back respectful.

VYV: (long pause) …

… I just want to know if I should bother going to Physical Therapy today or pack my bags for the popo to come?