Me Too

These past 7 months have been filled with an abundance of doctors’ appointments- and I am not talking about my own. Allow me to explain…

Since the start of time whence both my girls could speak, it has been a “who can have the most attention?”

It started with my non-eater who had my attention early on and then my second child decided to start with her anxiety shit. In terms of persistence, she had a long run for mommy/daddy/middle time.

As time progressed, my eldest started to get migraines so she has a neurologist. She complained she couldn’t see, so she got glasses. She didn’t like the pills from her lady doctor- so back and forth we went to resolve the cramps. Then she had reflux so she went to Chop and got medicine. The entire kitchen revolved around the two foods she would eat plain- conjuring up nightmares from her colic phase. She didn’t like their approach and she wasn’t getting better so then it was off to Nemours. Still no resolution, so she got an endoscopy- which btw, showed nothing.

Enter my second child- who also needed to see her very own gastroenterologist and get her own stool samples to see what she can or cannot eat. The kitchen remained bland and tasteless but still, the stomach pains remained. And while she doesn’t need glasses nor a neurologist, she did also need to have her hair Brazilian straightened and then highlighted (again) the right way… which she still hates.

So imagine my humiliation when I scheduled them both at the exact same time for allergy testing since there was zero chance I’d go twice. After all, eldest thinks she has some food aversion and my middle, well… so does she.

Here is but a tidbit of my life…

Doctor: Let’s start with Middle. What brings you here today?

Middle: I think I am allergic to melon and pineapple. I don’t know if I am allergic to tomatoes or garlic…..and for five more minutes she listed all things nonsense.

Doctor: Okay, and how about you Eldest?

Eldest: I also think I am allergic to tomatoes or garlic, maybe dust, maybe dogs

Middle: I think I am also maybe allergic to dogs and cats.

Eldest: I don’t know if I am allergic to dairy or soy…

Middle: Same, I forgot I could be allergic to dairy or soy.

…Well guess the fuck what? They weren’t allergic to any of the above.

Needless to say, I am quite sure that I am the root of their problems…. as I have told them from the get go, to which they both said: it’s not always about you!

…My skinny ass it isn’t.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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