The other day I needed to do some errands- but first, a pit stop to WaWa. With my gals in tow, we headed inside to pick up a few things.

My eldest got cheese and grapes, my middle bought gum and I took my free coffee. It was then off to the vehicle to begin our day.

*Things to note: we were in close contact of one another, being inside the car. None of us are very patient when it comes to bodily functions.

Me: (Balancing coffee cup sans lid) Buckle up…

Kid 1: (Opens up the cheese and grapes) Wait a sec’ so I don’t spill.

Kid 2: (Unwraps her chewing gum)

Me: (Beginning to sip hot coffee; blows on hot coffee)

Kid 2: (Begins to chews three pieces)

Kid 1: (Bites into a big grape)

…A few sips in, Kid 1’s chomping woke me from the steam-zone. No longer enjoying my brew due to the swallowing noises, I began to sip louder -while staring at her moving face. Meanwhile, my gum chewer in the back was chewing and nasallly breathing at the same time.

The more I stared while blow-sipping, the more kid 1 sensed my swallow. A very loud swallow- just enough for her eyes to move from her cheese and grapes, to my eyes.

Together, without breaking eye contact, she chewed her bouncy-ball grapes while I blew and slurped. It was as if she were taunting me to flip out.

Noticing the impending brawl, my gum smacker in the back decided to blow a thin bubble.

Needless to say, we went immediately home…in silence.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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