The other day I took my middle to open her very own bank account. When we were rushing out the door, I purposely left my purse home since I had in hand what I needed.

When we arrived at the empty bank we were escorted to Brian’s cubicle.

Brian: Hello, I am the senior relations investor, what can I do for you today?

Me: We are here to open an account.

Brian: (looks at middle) Wow, that’s great!

Middle: Thanks.

Me: She has money to deposit so I’d like to open the same account I did for my other child.

Brian: Okay, well, first I’m going to need some forms of ID.

Me: (pushes forth her original birth certificate and social security card)

Brian: (looks at me disappointed) I’m going to just call my branch supervisor…

So, middle and I are waiting… we are counting her stubs to make sure we have all our ducks in a row… when I hear Brian say this:

Brian: (on phone) Uh-huh. Okay… So we are going to need something else…

Me: (whispers to middle) What could they possibly need? Your virginity!

Middle: MOM!

Needless to say, I had to call my sister to bring me a third form of ID… the same one photographed on my phone that was “no good.”