The other day I took my middle to open her very own bank account. When we were rushing out the door, I purposely left my purse home since I had in hand what I needed.
When we arrived at the empty bank we were escorted to Brian’s cubicle.
Brian: Hello, I am the senior relations investor, what can I do for you today?
Me: We are here to open an account.
Brian: (looks at middle) Wow, that’s great!
Me: She has money to deposit so I’d like to open the same account I did for my other child.
Brian: Okay, well, first I’m going to need some forms of ID.
Me: (pushes forth her original birth certificate and social security card)
Brian: (looks at me disappointed) I’m going to just call my branch supervisor…
So, middle and I are waiting… we are counting her stubs to make sure we have all our ducks in a row… when I hear Brian say this:
Brian: (on phone) Uh-huh. Okay… So we are going to need something else…
Me: (whispers to middle) What could they possibly need? Your virginity!
Needless to say, I had to call my sister to bring me a third form of ID… the same one photographed on my phone that was “no good.”