Well, tonight we all (minus my youngest) sat at the dinner table together after a full day apart and this happened.
Hubby: What smells in here??
Kid 2: It’s mommy’s food!
Hubby: Are you sure it isn’t Bella’s discharge?
Me: (Vomiting) EWWWWW, what’s wrong with you?
Hubby: It really stinks in here! I can’t sit here.
Alexa: You have two new notifications; would you like to hear them?
Alexa: A box containing KY Jelly Lubricating Gel was delivered and something else.
Me: (WTF! I ask him to fix the shades and that takes years?)
Hubby: (Acting as if he didn’t hear) Are you sure it’s not Bella?
Kid 2: (Staring at me; making a face)
Kid 1: (Look of disgust) Rochelle! What is all that about?
Me: Not sure what you mean?
Kid 1: When I went into the App yesterday all these lubricating jellys came up.
Me: (MF) Well, my vajeen is dry when I walk too much so…
Kid 2: I can’t…
Kid 1: Oh really? Is that why when I came into your room the other night and saw you both wide awake?
Me: Oh sweet girl, that ship sailed a long time ago; dad has a girlfriend now.
Kid 1: Is her name your vajeen?
Needless to say, hubby can use it with Alexa.