Alexa, STFU

Well, tonight we all (minus my youngest) sat at the dinner table together after a full day apart and this happened.

Hubby: What smells in here??

Kid 2: It’s mommy’s food!

Hubby: Are you sure it isn’t Bella’s discharge?

Me: (Vomiting) EWWWWW, what’s wrong with you?

Hubby: It really stinks in here! I can’t sit here.

Alexa: You have two new notifications; would you like to hear them?

Hubby: Yes!

Alexa: A box containing KY Jelly Lubricating Gel was delivered and something else.

Me: (WTF! I ask him to fix the shades and that takes years?)

Hubby: (Acting as if he didn’t hear) Are you sure it’s not Bella?

Kid 2: (Staring at me; making a face)

Kid 1: (Look of disgust) Rochelle! What is all that about?

Me: Not sure what you mean?

Kid 1: When I went into the App yesterday all these lubricating jellys came up.

Me: (MF) Well, my vajeen is dry when I walk too much so…

Kid 2: I can’t…

Kid 1: Oh really? Is that why when I came into your room the other night and saw you both wide awake?

Me: Oh sweet girl, that ship sailed a long time ago; dad has a girlfriend now.

Kid 1: Is her name your vajeen?

Needless to say, hubby can use it with Alexa.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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