Monthly Archives: June 2022

Like A Virgin

Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch. Effing ouch! Today, with my numbing cream in tow, I went to chemo with the precipice that nobody would be touching the port. When I went to head back to the lounge, I noticed my young … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Shitz Bath

As if the cancer, bursitis, breaking/thinning hair and hooded eyelids aren’t enough… I have to sit three times a day in a sitz bath so my ass heals. Now, post-op the port all I have to do is look at … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Measure Twice, Cut Once

Today my mother came over to swim before my youngest leaves for camp. She was wearing the bathing suit that I’d bought for her- the same one that I have. In fact, the same bathing suit that I’d based the … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Twice As Nice

Between Tuesday’s procedure and today (Fridays), I’d say I’m somewhat tired. Not too tired to accidentally sleep on my left side, nor too tired to sleep on my back; I cannot sleep on my stomach. I figure this evening I … Continue reading

Leave a comment

“Fill her cup up more”

As if menopause isn’t attractive enough on me with my sagging ex-friends, standarting (standing/farting) and immobile arms, I quite fancy the dentist sized treasure chest in mine.

Leave a comment

NDL4ME

No dignity left. That’s right- tomorrow morning I will once again go before the ass man but this time sedated. This time, unaware of what is happening, nor when to clinch. And it should happen as it will– sharting on … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Port

Well, the other day I had the port placed in the softest, thinnest and most sensitive place. It looks and feels as if I’ve placed my Air-pod case beneath and all I have to say is, disgusting. Another woman was … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Idle Thoughts

I wonder if birds think, today I’m going to fly at car height.

Leave a comment

Feedback

Do you know how annoying it is when calling a store that utilizes the automated person… and you could be speaking so clearly but some asshole in your presence (in my case, my child) is talking and the automated person … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Timing

The other day during chemo, it was nurse Trudy (the hunchback) and another elderly woman I didn’t know. Immediately I became deflated as I went to sit in the corner- hoping to escape Trudy’s eyes but forgetting my drugs are … Continue reading

Leave a comment