The other day at chemo, a female nurse called me over to take my stats. While I was getting on the scale backwards, I said, “DON’T TELL ME.”

She said, “if you get on backwards that means you don’t want to know… so okay!”

After that, I was sitting down with my heart cuff and oxygen pulse thing and she said, “you know… its getting warm out there and soon you should go for a walk. All the winter weight will just fall off once you go for a nice brisk walk.”

*Bitch, I cannot walk. I cannot walk because that “thing” that keeps me barely erect (the spine), is hurting me up and down my body- ergo: the chemo. The radiation.

Now that’s two nurses I hate.