How About Now?

So last year at this time, I am not sure I “felt” cancer. Today I can tell you it feels like an ache. I have aches in my spine- up and down… to the backs of my knees.

According to my one onc, the cancer in my spine is getting better. Meanwhile, I am feeling elderly… I have a hard time getting in and out of my vehicle, climbing stairs is a chore and once I am up, I’m up. That new Peleton we just got… it takes too much effort to get feet in and out of the clips that a twenty minute beginner’s workout is just too much. …That and my ass hurts.

Not because of my impending anal surgery that I’ll find out about this Thursday, but it could be because that is where the cancer is- my ass bones (as well).

Put aside my double shoulder issue- yes double. I have this bursitis situation where I cannot lift my arms above my shoulder- therefore my hair is chronically a mess. I now need my shoulders rubbed- in addition to my back/legs and last night the man who sleeps on the other side of the bed told me he “wasn’t a machine and can’t sit and rub you for an hour.” So… there you go.

Cancer feels like everyone else can run, go and do… and I just get to eat, sleep and get fat.

Go on… tell me to take a nice, “walk” like the good ole days and I’ll end our friendship.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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