The other day I went to my standard appointment and was called over to get onto the scale. Debating in front of the male nurse, whether I should take my shoes off or not, I finally got onto the scale facing backwards. I repeat, I did not face the numbers on the scale- rather, I faced the opposite direction.

Nurse: You weigh 158.

Me: WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME WHEN I AM FACING BACKWARDS!

Nurse: You’d be surprised how many people want to know when backwards.

Me: WELL NOT ME! Asshole.

So, chemo was rather painful as I heard the number like the shot heard round the world. Needless to say, hearing my weight will be the cause of my death.