Do You Want to Eat That in the Car?

The other day we finally had our vents and air ducts cleaned… ya know, cause of my squatters. Naturally it was time to evacuate the house so they could figure it all out, and to be quite frank, I wasn’t certain how long we’d need to be gone so I left sans jacket/scarf/mittens/hat.

Since it was nearing the lunchtime hour and my daughter brought her doghter, we had to eat outside. I knew just the place- so we were on our way.

While on the way, plain poppop called to see what we were doing. We told him once we found out if we could get a table, we’d call him back to join us.

As I’m pulling into the spot, my son proceeds to take off his jacket and says, this smells like dog pee. Since all of my pets (including the r’s) just shit and pee anywhere, any time, I told him to leave his coat in the car. Certainly, we couldn’t eat outside (no heat lamps) with him in a tee shirt- so I left the kids at one of the fifteen outdoor tables and went down to the corner store.

Upon my return, the kids informed me they had ordered but they did not know what plain p. would want.

Here’s where the lunch became a little bit of a problem…

I’d already been sitting outside with the kids (again, I did not have a jacket) for about thirty five minutes before pp came and readjusted his parking thrice. The kids had already finished their lunches when he was only beginning to order. It was maybe 50* at best and the kids were now ready for froyo.

Ten minutes later, the kids came back to the table with their yogurt when pp was only just being served. The moment I saw his Cheesecake Factory size portion of eggs and bread, I felt the air deflate from my dilapidated lungs. For one, he eats slow AF on a good day- add Parkinsons to the mix and well, just know you’re gonna be there a long time. Next, he’d finally be out with other people than Bub, and all he wanted to do was converse. Again, not so much the problem on a good day but I did say he had Parks and I was f.r.o.z.e.n so…. Lastly, the loaf of bread that those mother effers loaded onto his serving plate had not even been buttered yet, when I realized that I had about another twenty minutes outside.

Knowing that I was frozen, the kids were past done and pp was still talkewing, I asked for the check and bid my adieus.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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