Today I met a woman I’ve seen at the same spa, for days. I am not a morning person but when you’re the sole two people in the basement of a building… it’s inevitable that we’d speak.

Sandy: Do you have breast cancer?

Me: (Immediately annoyed) Lung.

Sandy: Oh I’m sorry to hear that.

Me: Do you have breast cancer?

Sandy: Yes. It came back again so…

Me: Wow… I’m guessing you were early stages last time?

Sandy: Yes.

Me: Then why didn’t you cut them off?

Sandy: I guess I was foolish.

Me: mmmhmmm.

Sandy: My brother in law never saw a doctor… you know how men are. He was a smoker…limped around at the end.

Me: (is this dumb bitch going to say it?)

Sandy: …Well when they found it, it was too late.

Me: (MFB)

Sandy: …three months later he died.

Luckily for Sandy, the turnaround time for radiation is about five minutes, or I’d have farted during my shift.