While going over my medical history for the gazillionth time…

Dr. F: So Rochelle, how are you feeling in general?

Me: Oh you mean other than the cancer?

Dr. F: (nods)

Me: (thinking)

Hubby: She has some anxiety and depression

Me: (glaring at hubby) No, I am not really depressed and I am not really anxious. …Well, I wasn’t before…

Dr. F: Right, I mean, we all have a little…

Me: Yes, but I was planning to stop my medication (prior to season two of Your Life Just Got Worse)

Hubby: Mmm-hmm.

Mother: (to Rochelle) You have been complaining of your chest…

Me: Yes, it feels like the food doesn’t go down sometimes when I’m eating.

Dr. F: Do you have acid reflux?

Hubby: (ecstatic) That’s what I told her but she yelled at me!

Me: (annoyed) It’s not acid reflux; it isn’t burning when it goes down.

Hubby: Sometimes when people get heavier they get acid reflux.

Me: (bulging mf eyes to hubby) Oh so my chest pain is because I’m fat?