Blonde Ambition

Today I met with my oncologist- my initial oncologist. The plan was to get a bone shot, blood work and discuss my recent stint in the ER. In short, we were going to address the CT Scans that were taken- just one week before my big one that was to happen next week, and of course, the pneumonia.

Funny thing is, we’re not really sure it is pneumonia… considering it looks just like tumors; new tumors. Brand. Spanking. New. Not quite large enough to qualify for the trial but large enough to cause some breathing/tired issues.

So here I am, back where I began, on a medication that is working on my brain (for now) but not everywhere else. Kinda like the first medicine I was on, where it worked in the lungs, but not elsewhere.

The good news is, the doctor from Georgetown emailed me out of the blue, to check up on me. Naturally, he will be receiving a Fed Ex of my scans in the hopes that he reads them with compassionate eyes. It’s pretty much a given that the Philadelphia doctors still won’t let me on that ride considering their laissez-faire attitude.

To top off this shit show, my doctor today told me, “you know it will eventually get worse.” Call me naive but no, I did not think it would; it wasn’t even a thought in my “be positive” brain. Why on earth would I know what to expect if I’ve never had cancer before and thus far I’ve only been following the leaders. I stopped thinking futuristically speaking and only can get through the present…. so, news flash for me that this cutting edge shit will sometime fail me.

Really Rochelle? You had no idea it would eventually get worse? Ah, yes, really. I can’t handle knowing anything so clearly there is zero thoughts when it comes to my sit.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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