Where oh where to begin? The other evening was the third evening that I’d felt a discomfort in my chest. Since the medication I’m on can kill you, I went to the ER for a quick EKG to rule out a blood clot.

Now, I chose to go solo, for my mother had just spent the night before there with my father (he has an infection). Unfortunately, by turning off my Life 360 App, I alerted the authority that is… and my mom arrived to the hospital, to wait with me. Later in the evening, my sister arrived to “drop off food and a sweater,” and got suckered into staying.

Anyhow, I had my EKG, blood drawn, X-Ray and CT Scan of my Chest & Abdomen and we were told that in an hour, I should soon receive my results. PS: After eight hours in the ER, I decided I’d rather die at home, so we left.

*Please note, I asked the results to be told only to my mother. One, I cannot handle the enormity of knowing how little time I seem to have. Two, this CT Scan was supposed to happen in two more weeks, when I would find out if my cancer grew and I am in the Trial, or not.

Physician’s Assistant: (motioning to my mother) I have the results.

Sister: Wow, that was fast! It’s not even an hour.

Mother: (exits room separated by cloth, not cement)

PA: (something, something, trial, bigger)

Mother: (Gasp…. Oh No!….. Are you sure?)

Mother: (Re-enters) Okay.

Me: (Now must know my fate) Well, did I make the trial?

Mother: Yep. You definitely made the trial but you do not have a blood clot.

Me: (Shocked. Upset) I did? Are you sure?

Mother: Oh, I’m sure.

So, I spend the next 20 or so minutes, agonizing over what the results mean, how this trial really is a last straw for me and even that isn’t a guarantee, when the PA Assistant asks to see my mother one more time.

PA: Bla Bla Bla……

Mother: What? Oh my Gd! Noooo! …… Really?

It’s at this point where my heart has dropped and I’m imagining more bad information, worse information like my cancer is so big I need help NOW, when my mother comes back into the room.

Me: Now what???

Mother: It was the wrong report; they read someone else’s report.

Me: What? Are you sure? What did they say??

Mother: Yes, I’m sure. They said the person has a similar last name and she’s very sorry for the mistake.

Sister: Oh no! I thought your report came back too fast, see?

Me: That’s it?! Sorry? Now what?

Mother: Now she’s going to find the right person and tell them their cancer grew and spread.

Me: So, back to the blood clot?

And there you have it, another major fuck up by the same hospital- the first being the biopsy on my ass that the doctors did without following my oncologist’s orders.