While walking from the parking lot to the hospital, I heard two noises back to back.

Me: (to mother) Was that you?

Mother: (appalled) No, of course not!

Me: You sure?

Mother: Yes! Although, the other day I was in the company of acquaintances, and it must be the age- they were 88, and as they walked, they farted. One day that will happen to me.

Me: Thankfully, I won’t be here for that.

Mother: How can you say that?

Me: I’ll get out while the going is good.

……

After we checked into the office I was having my procedure, my mother admired the secretary’s white hair.

Mother: Should I go white?

Me: Because I won’t be here?

Mother: No! Just because…

Me: (leaving office to stand) No- you don’t have to go white.

Mother: (walks out too)

Me: Was that you??

Mother: I didn’t want you to miss what it would be like.