Has absolutely nothing within its pages- in fact, I don’t even have a book with paper in the general vicinity of my everyday whereabouts. So when doctor asked me if I had any ailments… and I answered, “no,” my two ears nearly lost their shit.

Dr: So, tell me how you’ve been feeling?

Me: I feel great.

Dr: Yes, and what about the pain you were feeling?

Me: Pain?? What pain?

Mother: This is why I told you to keep a diary

Dr: The pain in your back you were complaining about to the other doctor

Me: Oh, well, it’s gone.

Mother: You just complained about it the other day.

Hubby: You complain every night

Me: Well, I don’t remember

Dr. How about this, in the past week, what pain have you felt?

Me: Well, I can’t remember so it must not have been that bad.

Mother: It was bad

Hubby: You’ve had nothing but pain

Dr: OK… and how is your word recall?

Mother/Hubby: It’s bad!