BEING A.G.G.R.E.S.S.I.V.E.

Well, I’m home after a long day of running around for nothing and then… the second opinion.

I can sum this experience up in a few words- but what would be the point of that? Afterall, I’ve taken a break from my writing for the past year and now- at least some part of my body is having diarrhea.

Today my mother and I went down to Penn to meet with another specialist- not to switch from my current oncologist but to make sure we’re all on the same page. Turns out, we are, we knew we were ahead of time but some people (not me) like to hear a full- scope plan. Again- I just want to know, take two pills and see you next week.

In any event, we go down, we wait- as per the reputation at a “busy” hospital – which in itself is offensive to the “local” hospital that did keep me here for the past year… and I would say having great doctors shouldn’t be only designated to the busy v. local– again, digressing.

Finally, it is our turn- and how silly that sounds when I type it because really, this shit befalls me, and the Fellow comes in to begin.

Dr. Fellow: Tell me your story

Me: (Oh yeah! I get to relive this) Bla bla bla cancer.

Dr. F: So why are you here?

Me: (Because my mommy and hubby wanted another opinion)

Hubby Via FaceTime: Just to be sure we’re all on the same page.

Anyhow, the interview ended, and he asked if there were any questions- which is my code to go. About 10 minutes later, the doctor I was scheduled to meet came to get me and we then started a similar rigormarole.

Dr. You Late: Bla bla bla… we agree with your great oncologist…. but I like to have a back up plan for my back up plan for my back up plan.

Me: What does that look like? Chemo?

Dr. YL: Not yet- there are other drugs out there first and if those don’t work then we try this one or… blah.

Mother: I need to write this down.

Me: I’m listening.

Dr. YL: We could blah and then blah and hopefully, fingers crossed…. otherwise, bla. Any questions?

Me: How long will I likely bla?

Dr. YL: We don’t know- this cancer is very aggressive.

Me: What do you mean? Isn’t it still Lung Cancer?

Dr. YL: It is- but its now lighting up in other areas.

Me: I thought I only had to worry about the brain?

Dr. YL: That is probably gone- you just had that zapped. It’s that it spread to your lymph nodes and your bones….bla blity bla effing bla…

Me: (horror) So now, the medicine that has to work in the brain, also has to work everywhere else? …And it was supposed to do that this entire time, and now isn’t? And it spread this much in 8 months?? And what I hear you all saying is that the medicine has to come out faster than my cancer is growing? So you hope this drug will work- because it works on other people with a similar gene but different mutation- and if it doesn’t I could do this clinical trial- if it is still going on… otherwise, there is a plan F? …And btw, your medicine will make you an effing psychopath, possible streaker??

Mother: You know she’s a teacher.

Both Doctors: We know.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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