I truly feel gratitude for the amount of luck and good fortune I have received. Sure, one could say that it is unlucky to have this severe diagnosis at age 47- the impending doom and gloom of a grim and gray future…. but for the first time in my half-glass empty life, I feel grateful.
I live in a wonderful area where there are connections and hook ups with the best doctors and medical treatment- it could be worse. Apparently there was a woman in India who could not receive the treatment I had to day and she’s dead so… thankful I’m not her.
I have a wonderful job that allows me the flexibility to work from a distance and recover or set appointments AFTER hours. I have missed 3 days in total this past year and given that I have 72 sick days, I’d say that is a triumph in and of itself.
My parents are alive to help me and be there- for who would ever want to go through this without them?
I have guardian angels on both sides of my marriage- making sure that hubby is not left alone with three children- and a wonderful group of Friends and Family- who are just there and that’s enough.
I have a husband in the medical field who has his fingers on the pulse of all the latest drugs and trials- and I am hopeful that his litigation and networking skills will help move my approval for this groundbreaking new drug to the forefront.
My kids are not sick- they can walk, eat, talk, learn and have no health issues other than hating their mother – which I’m told is par for the course. They are fortunate to have weekly “worry doctor” appointments – and naturally out of pocket. After all, why should mental health for anyone be available to their age group?
I have a beautiful home where I can cook, clean, decorate and enjoy.
I live in a safe community where children can be whom they want, addressed as they want and everyone is entitled to their own wills- most of the time, without judgement.
I have no side effects from the amount of drugs put into my body today and I am not sick, throwing up or dizzy. Soon my light headedness will be gone, I shouldn’t have to hold onto the walls to not fall from sitting down or getting up and I may have more word recall- or not, (bitch always works), and life will go on.
Keto is going great and thank Gd for the death scare for that pushed me the hell off my plateau- silver linings everywhere.
So you see, I am the happiest person in the world today. Sure, I could keep getting brain tumors and they could certainly find more shit next week when I go for more invasive scans- but for now, I have everything I could possibly need in life and that is enough.