O-Shit!

Does anyone remember Wow Chip? They were made with Olestra and the deal was- you could eat any chips you wanted… and they’d be fat free. The problem however, was this sludge-like oil would secretly escape your ass. …

I say this, because recently on my Keto diet, I’ve noticed a similar experience. …

The other evening, my son and I were watching a movie in bed when he asked me if I’d farted. Annoyed, I said, “of course not,” and went back to the movie.

…This morning when I went to do my morning routine, I noticed I’d had some sort of tiny accident. Shocked, I returned back to my bed to have a look-see, when I noticed in horror, a small spot on my bed. Immediately, I took off the sheets, showered and went about my day. Later that day…

Son: (Son notices sheets off the bed) Did the dog pee in the bed?

Me: (Knowing THIS will set my son off) Nope.

Son: Did you pee in the bed?

Me: (trying not to laugh) Nope.

Son: (scared look on his face, petrified) Did you poop in the bed?

Me: (unable to talk)

Son: Mom? You pooped in the bed?

Me: (trying not to laugh)

Son: You’re disgusting…. you’re worse than the dogs…. Is it the cancer or the Keto?

Me: It’s the k…

Son: I don’t care which! I told you it stunk.

*In my defense, my diet is made up predominantly of fat.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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