Last week I went to my annual dermatologist appointment and towards the end of the visit, the doctor decided to remove a dark freckle. I figured, whatever, grabbed my facial bleach cream and left.

I’m standing in the kitchen; what’s new? 170 doesn’t just magically appear on its own. Anyhow, I noticed the doctor’s office calling on the caller ID and answered it.

Me: Hello…?

Nurse: Hi, is this Rochelle?

Me: Hi, Yes, it is.

Nurse: Hello, this is Nancy from Leigh Skin and Cancer Institute. Do you have a second?

…… Freeze frame. I think we can all agree on the proper protocol for delivering test results- start quickly with “it’s all good,” and move on.

Me: (instant facial flush, heart palps, sweating ….Well, I already have cancer so who gives a shit now? I suppose it was only a matter of time before I got skin cancer. After all, I am fair skin, always been a sun goddess… deep sigh) Yes, what is it?

Nurse: Everything looks normal, the results came back and they are benign.

Bitch please!