You would think I was smacking my daughter the way my daughter was yelling at me to stop. In fact, the more I did it, the more she became unhinged. Apparently chewing hard pretzels and nasal breathing is the ultimate torture- and with each jaw-breaking crunch, she became more and more irate.

So I decided, the next time she speaks to me fresh, I will no longer jump to retrieve her electronics… instead, I will simply force her to dine at the table with me while I’m eat/breathing. That’s right- I bet you after a Costco size vat of pretzels, she should be as good as new.