Can I Take A Moment?

I always used to ask my friends, would you rather questions. Would you rather be fat and pretty or thin and ugly? Have a dog or a cat? Be rich but die young or be poor but live forever. The questions would continue as such…. and increase in extremity. For example, would you rather lose your arm or your leg? Your sight or your hearing?

Anyhow, I used to enjoy these lines of questions with friends because it was just a fun game to pass the time.

Well, as fate would have it, I was selected into an actual life or death version of the game.

(Put a pin in that)

Today as hubby called it, I had my PET Scare day. This is a day known to cancer patients who get the results of their cancerous x-rays. Now, since I live in my little cave within a bubble, I didn’t know that today was to be a day to fear. In fact, I didn’t know what to expect- but fear was not even at the forefront of my mind.

We get to the hospital, go through the whole rigamarole of the questions re COVID-19, then the “only the patient can go- while you have to wait in the car” and then were granted permission to go to the cancer center. Keep in mind, I had no idea I needed to be scared and I nearly couldn’t have hubby with me for this scary appointment.

We go up, I get my bloodwork, go get my vitals taken and I remind the woman weighing me, to NOT tell me. In fact, when I got off the scale and sat down, I asked her to step on the scale again, so that my number wouldn’t still be there- in case I felt the need to look.

After, it was time for hubby and me to go back to meet the doctor. She comes in with “great” news… and begins to speak Latin to my Latin speaking husband. Meanwhile, I am sweating profusely underneath my mask, sitting on the chair as if I’m waiting for him to finish a business meeting, and wait for words that I can understand like: good…. inactive… no longer showing up.

We say our farewells to the doctor and hubby reminds me as I’m walking out the door that I need to make 4 other appointments.

To make this real short, the receptionist schedules my tests and hands me a prescription to get another scan in a few months. She furthermore goes on to tell me that she has highlighted the number of the pre-cert, for when I go to make my appointment.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when handed a paper with words all over it… and I see some of the text is highlighted in neon orange- I’m gonna obviously look there.

(Now, take the pin out)

I managed to be the rarest of statistics to have the mutation that I have…. qualify for both targeted and immunotherapy…. 6 weeks on the medication all flashing tumors are now no longer flashing…. and I managed to stay clear from everyone and not get the virus.

Instead, I got entered into the Final Round of Extreme Would You Rather? That’s right… as I was walking out of the center, I made the grave mistake of looking where the neon orange highlighted words were… and saw the most upsetting thing ever; my weight.

Feeling as if a block of cement fell on me, I look at hubby with my deflated expression.

Hubby: What’s wrong? You got the best news ever!

Me: I saw my weight.

Hubby: That’s why you’re upset?

Me: I wish she had a pill for me to take for the weight loss. Maybe I should come off the medicine for a little, lose the weight, and then go on it.

Hubby: Are you kidding me? That’s what you’re worried about??

Me: I don’t want to be fat!!

Hubby: Would you rather be thin and dead?

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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