Last evening my eldest came to me around 2:30 a.m. and told me she couldn’t sleep; she told me she heard gunshots. Normally, I could think on my toes and quickly dismiss comments like, “I heard gunshots,” but here is how the convo went down…
Kid 1: I can’t sleep. I heard gun shots.
Me: There’s no gunshots- go back to bed.
Kid 1: (gunshot) Did you hear that?
Me: (heard it) I didn’t hear anything.
Kid 1: My friend’s mom said the township would be shooting deer in the nighttime. Is it true? Would they be out killing deer?
Me: (forgot about that- paused too long!)
Kid 1: (crying) I’m going to vomit.
Me: (gunshot) No, nobody’s shooting deer!
….enter Kid 2…..
Kid 2: What’s that noise; is someone being murdered?
With no processing time since I was awoken from my one hour slumber and had to quickly choose: lie and say there’s no hunting to calm Kid 1 but will undoubtedly scare Murder She Wrote — or say to Kid 2, that it is indeed just hunting. Meanwhile, I had two kids crying- one over a deer and the other over a possible robbery.
Me: No, it’s just deer killing the people.
At that moment, both kids stomped away- one crying and the other relieved- only to realize the movie she’s been watching (for the first time) on Disney Movies- are multiple Bambis getting shot.
The good news was, I was able to go to the “closed kitchen,” (as hubby now announces- for all the grazing pigs) to graze in peace.