Well, I finally figured out what it feels like to be constipated. That’s right… the aching feeling of pangs in your stomach that will only go away with relief. And by relief, I mean pre-colonoscopy prep relief. The kind where you know it’s going to happen, so you just wait and ride it out- literally.

Unfortunately, I am waiting to ride the bus…. even after downing two days worth of Metamucil, two cups worth of Fiber One cereal and 4 Fiber cookies. That’s right… I am just waiting to be carried down 5th Avenue by over 50 people… as the world stares at me waving, Happy Thanksgiving.

So how do I spell relief? ITSNOTMETAMACIL.