The other evening I was trying to show my mother how easy Instacart works- so she doesn’t have to subject herself to germs and chaos. I tried to let her know that even though I wanted to put things in her cart, it didn’t mean she had to purchase them yet.

After convincing her that it was free to just look, I started asking her about which produce she would want.

Me: What produce do you want?

Mother: Angel Sweet Tomatoes

Me: (searching) They don’t have them; what about other brands?

Mother: I only want Angel Sweet; they are the best tomato, the sweetest and everyone who eats them loves them. Then I can’t shop there.

Me: You can’t eat another brand?? With dressing they’re all the same! I’m trying to help you and you just don’t want it!

Mother: I’m fine food shopping myself.

Me: (Searching another store) What about Sunset Angel Sweet tomatoes?

Mother: I don’t think they’re the same.

Me: It says Angel Sweet…. it can’t say Sunset Angel Sweet????

Mother: (looking at screen) Maybe they’re ok. How much are they? ….They’re only $2.30 at the Giant. Nevermind.

Me: You know how much tomatoes are??? Can’t you just get them??? They deliver!!!

Mother: What about Kosher Deli?

Me: (searching) They don’t have any.

Mother: Then this isn’t going to work. I thought this was Giant?

Me: I don’t know which Giant it is- how about we look at another store?

Mother: I like Giant.

Me: (looking elsewhere) Wegmans doesn’t have it either. Neither does Aldi, Walmart, Target…. just buy your own tomatoes and deli… what else do you need?

Mother: Hefty Trash bags.

Me: (searching; don’t have that brand) Aren’t bags bags??? What is with you and brands?? They have store brand!

Mother: (looking at screen). They’re cheaper at Acme…I’m not paying more…

Me: Again you and the prices!!!!! It saves you time and is convenient to order!

Mother: I’m fine with going.

Me: It’s a good thing you weren’t in the Holocaust! You’d turn down the tomatoes if they weren’t Angel Sweet! I just don’t understand how you make it all so difficult! I’m trying to help you and you just don’t want my help!!! Go get sick, get germs- I don’t care!

Mother: Why are you getting so angry at me??

……… Flash forward to today, when Hubby came back from his 10th trip to BJ’s and I said….

Me: Oh, I would have had you get trash bags for my mom.

Hubby: She can have the ones I got from Target that I don’t like.

Me: She only wants Hefty.

Hubby: Oh she wants Hefty? ? ?

……

Me: (Calling my mom) Do you want bags we got from Target?

Mother: Oh, I was just at the market and forget to get trash bags! Sure!

Me: They’re not Hefty.

Mother: I’ll get them another time.

 I give up.