While trying to lower my heart rate during my doctor visit, the doctor was busy teaching his collegiate cardiovascular seminar to someone whose sole job is to tell people to sit down.

When he was done with his dissertation on aortic valves and ventricles, he mentioned that my weight went up 6 or 7 lbs in the past two years.

Now, I went to the cardiologist to make sure I wasn’t dying – and he thought his bluntness for my apparent weight gain, wasn’t enough to kill me?

Honestly, I’m not even sure what he said to me regarding my heart… because I was busy trying to catch my breathe after he stabbed me in the heart.