Allow me to preface this post with the fact that I feel I am a rather calm and patient person when it comes to my middle child. I’ve spent countless hours getting her therapy, sitting in therapy, staying at home so she can continue her recluse activities and pretty much have given up all that I have in me, so she can be less agitated.
When she was afraid to be at camp- I sat in the camp office for 8 hours a day so she could function When she has a problem with a friend… I’m there to help her work out every scenario before talking to the person- even though in the end, she doesn’t listen to a thing I say. I could go on and on, but the point is: she’s still alive so I am f. patient.
This morning I was trying to help my daughter get her binders for school organized while she was eating. With each folder, I shuffled through the papers and asked her if she needed this or that. It is then, where I noticed blank assignments, taking up space in her binder.
Me: Do you have to do this?
Kid: No! That is old. It just has to stay there.
Me: What about this? It’s half done…
Kid: No mom! The teachers gave me another one because I lost it and then did it on a different sheet.
Me: Well, since it has to be in here, let’s just finish it.
Kid: NO! I don’t need to finish it! Besides, I’m ahead in this class already.
Me: If you’re ahead, then it will only take you a few minutes to do again.
Kid: Mom! I said I don’t need to do it again! I’m not doing it.
Me: Well you have to be more organized, this is just unacceptable!
Kid: You know what! If you’re going to sit and judge me and be all nasty…
Me: Me?? I am trying to help you and you’re biting my head off!
Kid: Just forget it! (And she gathers her crap to go upstairs)
Me: (Patience has left the building; Enter fury) I am going to take this binder and hit you over the head until you bleed if you continue to scream at me for trying to help you and I am trying to make sure you aren’t lying to me, you little bitch!
A few moments later, after she ran upstairs annoyed, I told her I had to go pick up her father and brother and asked her if she was going to stay at home or come with me; she chose to come.
While driving in the car, I said to her…
Me: (Calm but petrified of her, voice) I am trying to help you and you just bit my head off- I don’t understand where this comes from?
Kid: Oh you don’t? You who told me you were going to hit me over the head with the binder until I bleed and then pinched me, and you wonder about my reactions??? Huh??
Me: Well…. I may have overreacted a little bit, but I most certainly did not pinch you.
Kid: What about the other part?
Me: OK. I guess I may have overreacted a bit.
Kid: Ya think?