Dear Abby

I think I figured out what I would put on my dating profile if I were starting out for the first time…

Version 1.

Exceptionally skilled laundress, seamstress, short ordered cook and domestic engineer seeks skilled plumber, electrician and universal handyman who’s capable of maintaining time constraints without negative or insulting banter. Must be willing to share photos of your chassis, sock drawer and Tupperware cabinet.

Version 2.

Jewish female ISO Jewish male just like Jewish female but with penis. Large penis. House in Boca on the beach, who likes to shop, watch TV and play Mahjongg.

Version 3.

Looking for a man who will just pay the housekeeper without complaining about where she “hides” things; someone who will wear clean socks daily; who utilizes the hamper/washing machine on a daily basis; who values the dishwasher and/or dish gloves and boiling water; someone who knows to sit when making and wipes upon flushing; who takes shoes off outside before entering the home and won’t sit on the bed in street clothes on his own volition; who understands the power of hospital corners and show pillows; a man willing to wipe the counters and sweep the floors just because; who knows how to pack for all inhabitants of the household and does.

 

 

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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