My family just returned from their winter holiday with their father – with five minutes to spare before the ball dropped. They had gone to South Beach for a few days for a change of scenery- for sitting inside at home was no good but somehow…. away it seemed acceptable.

Anyhow, they’re back and my son came upstairs to disrobe for the shower, when he saw the mini baseball bat his sister had bought for him- from the Baseball Hall of Fame. Within an instant, he’s battering up and takes a swing… not even looking and hits me, hard on the hand. It was all I could do to not physically lose my shit.

Me: You have to be careful!!!! You hurt me!!!

Son: (mouth quivering) I’m sorry.

Me: You have to be careful! 

Son: (Runs away)

Enter daughter…She goes to sit on my bed. Within 1/2 a second I realize she is still wearing her airplane clothing.

Me: (pushing and screaming) GET OFF MY BED!!! DON’T YOU COME ON MY BED IN THOSE CLOTHES!! WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!!

So, off to a great year.