For weeks I’ve basically been starving myself. I could inch towards some bread, perhaps have a nibble and then cry the rest of the night…. until I performed the same routine at the next meal. Anyhow, flash forward to yesterday, when I went to my former breakfast jaunt for only one thing in mind: the schlepper with a side of lox. “Did you want Nova or Lox?” asked the waitress. …. “Yes, lox.”

Now, this kind woman didn’t say… “hold up- are you eating that on a bagel? A whole bagel? Will it be scored??” Rather, she simply wondered about my sodium intake.

After 13 napkins- as you know, whitefish is messy…and 4 minutes, I’d inhaled the entire thing. Gone. And yes, it was amazing. So I thought to myself, I could eat 5 more- hands down. Like Bobby Brady in the Pie Eating contest… I could keep going. Furthermore, If I had to,  I could eat this every day for the rest of my life. And I must say that I didn’t mind the white onion…. the entire bagel was fab.

But the best part was the comments on FB, from posting my dish, from my skinny bitches who know exactly how good it was… who for just one fleeting moment, wished they were me … for a change.