Let me start by saying that I only went with my mother on Christmas Day because she pre-bought the tickets weeks in advance- expecting it to be some spectacular remake of the broadway musical.

It’s not.

First, I hate cats. Kittens are cute…. and it ends there. I don’t trust them, they look as if they could pounce and kill you at any moment and they smell. Well, they shed and they smell- and anyone who has one, is immune to the stench of kitty litter/pee. That being said, I hate cats.

I know every breed of dog there is- and I think the types of cats I know are: tabby (short for who knows what?) and sphinx. So when the opening song of Jelical cat played, my brain was too busy Googling what the hell a Jelical cat was- (its fictitious).

Couldn’t follow the musical as a child nor could I as a woman child (see Age is the Only number).

If there was a story, the accents in song were too much for my dog-brain.

While I did like the costumes and the way their tails/ears automatically moved when they spoke… I did not like that the director did not yell, “CUT” each and every time Jennifer Hudson’s nose ran to her cat-chin.

Judy Dench made me wonder if anyone cleans the teeth of cats the way dog owners do- for she seemed to be missing all of her back teeth. In fact, she reminded me more of the Lion in The Wizard of Oz, then an old feline.

One cat had really pretty lips… totally un-cat like (or dog for that matter) and I was busy searching this Prima Ballerina. In fact, my own ADD got me thinking of how my older friend told me how as one ages, their lips get thinner. So, I spent much of the movie looking at this character’s lips, and then reflecting on my own- determining if I’ve lost any girth.

Now, I did enjoy the reclining chair and small nap- but if I never saw another reprise of this movie in my lifetime, I’d be better than fine.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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