The other day I had a major migraine. I was nauseated and couldn’t keep my head up- but had my children to care for and the dog- who needed to see the vet. Knowing that I could not manage a night on my own, I called my mother.

You should know, I never ask my mother for help with my kids. I may be lying- perhaps I rarely ask her for help. In any event, she came over and was stuck with both the after school rush of feeding my kids the past two meals they missed due to lack of time at school, homework and dealing with their energy levels.

Whilst upstairs, I could hear the frustration rising in my mother. If I could explain in grunts, it would sound like a constant “tsk.”

After surviving the initial brunt of their hunger, my mother came upstairs to tell me all the ways I’ve entitled my children. They don’t listen; they don’t empty their school bags; they don’t set the table…. and my fav they all eat different meals back to back.

So ma, let’s compare parenting….

Ma: Sophie’s Choice. Towering Inferno. Kramer v. Kramer. Jaws. Fame (rape). The News.

Me: Not even a Disney film.

Ma: Liver with ketchup and onions. Steak Tar Tar (raw).

Me: 3 types of Noodles, served 3 different ways.

Ma: Had two kids 4 years apart at age 21.

Me: Had 3 kids under 4 at the age of 38.