Let me reiterate: my son eats plain noodles, plain yogurt with some chocolate chips and once in a while white pizza. Sometimes he’ll have some apples and honey (super Jew) and sometimes he’ll have grapes.

He plays 4 hours a week of baseball- though he’s not running the entire time. He walks to and from school. He plays basketball sometimes after school if I’ll stay outside with him or he’ll ride bikes. After school work AND NO SNACK, he’ll have something small for dinner and then get on his laptop.

In the past, he didn’t gain any weight in one year’s time. Last year, he gained weight to make up for the year before- probably the growth curve switcheroo. This year, he gained 6 pounds- which I was still under the impression was a healthy weight. He is 68 lbs and should technically be a fourth grader. When he sits sans top, he has the tiniest of rolls.

I also know that this summer when he is at overnight camp, he will be doing more activities than he’s ever done in his life- plus he’ll have plenty of “starve it out” moments to get him to try new foods.

Lastly, at this time he is not obese, nor is he close…. but it’s his projected growth should it continue at this alarming rate (my fat ass) could bump him up another curve.

Mind you: I have one child who finally started eating after a 8 year break and another child who is also beginning to enjoy food again.

Add to that that I have now therapists for my therapists- for each child- and I should technically be nearing my empty nester years.

So, maybe I need something akin to David Duke’s uniform- but in Pink, to ward off assholes who just speak data and not person — to a person who’s data is damaged!