I’ve hit a real low- and now I must chop off my left digits. That’s right- I bent down to pick something up…. now, it was dark like a branch…but small like a tootsie roll. Unfortunately, what I initially deemed not a doody- was indeed a doody.

Now, it was hard…. not a perfect cylinder, yet still, I wasn’t sure. Naturally, I smelled it as it rolled around my finger tips…. when I realized, I just used 4/5 senses on determining whether said item was feces.

…The worst part isn’t even the feces dissection. You see, this morning  I went to grab a washcloth from the bathtub ledge that my dog calls, “toilet.” You heard me…. I nearly washed my face with Dove & Bladder.