The other day I received a call to inquire of my physical health prior to my doctor’s exam; this morning I had to fill out paperwork reiterating the entire conversation. As if I’m trying to enter an immigration detention center, I get more of the same questions from the nurse- as she’s looking over the paperwork with the same questions.
Nurse: Are you wearing dentures or prosthetics?
Nurse: Do you suffer from sleep apnea?
Nurse: Do you have Diabetes?
Nurse: Do you take baby aspirin?
Me: (Looking at the other beds filled with the aged; Inner voice) Is it because I have too much sun on my face that I look like the rest of these people to have the same questions? Shouldn’t my questions be tailored to my age? Perhaps, “when’s the last time you cursed at your spouse?…. Do you sleep through the night without urinating? …. How often do you yell at your kids?” – Those seem like more viable questions to understand my physical downfalls.
Instead, I simply replied, “still just the hemorrhoid.”