Before going in for my procedure, I heard a nurse waking up an elderly man from his sedation. She offered to help him sit up, get him a drink and offered him some food- as he had not eaten the day before.

Nurse: Would you like, Apple, Cranberry or Coffee?

Man: Coffee would be nice.

Nurse: How would you like that?

Now, I’m in the bed across the room- behind the curtain, so thankfully nobody saw my face talk- but this was no Starbucks. This was an office facility with a makeshift hospital unit at best. Not a bed and breakfast, not post-op, just a place to give you some liquids so the next asshole could come in. 

Man: Do you have cream and sugar?

Nurse: We have the tiny creamers.

Man: Excellent.

Nurse: How many would you like?

Again, get in, get out- that’s their Motto. 

Man: I’ll take two please; and the “real” sugar.

Nurse: Here are some Graham Crackers for you to eat.

Man: (Eats them) Thank you; these are quite tasty.

Anyhow, this man thinks he’s fine dining at Chez Cole and is enjoying his 2″ x 2″ stale cracker that probably comes 1000 in a case that’s 10 months old +, its a wonder I didn’t vomit my cecum from this conversation.