Today whilst walking I received a call from the nurse about my upcoming colonoscopy; she wanted to ask me some questions.
Nurse: Hi, just have a few questions to ask you; is this a good time?
Nurse: Have you ever had a heart attack?
Me: (Hmmm?) Nope.
Nurse: Have you had valve replacement?
Me: (Umm?) I’m only 46
Nurse: Do you have a pacemaker?
Me: (WTF) Still in my 40s.
Nurse: Are you allergic to latex?
Me: (Finally something that sounds semi normal) Nope.
Nurse: Do you suffer from mitral valve prolapse?
Me: (Ummm?) No.
Nurse: Have you had an abdominal aortic aneurysm?
Me: I don’t even know what that is.
Nurse: Do you have Multiple Sclerosis?
Me: Not yet.
Nurse: Do you suffer from diverticulitis?
Me: I don’t think so.
Nurse: Ok. That’s about it- you’re all set.
Me: I do have one thing you didn’t ask…
Nurse: What’s that?
Me: A hemorrhoid.