While sitting at the salon while my daughter gets her glam on, the stylist was asking my child if she was the oldest.

Stylist: So are you the oldest sister?

Kid: No, I’m the youngest.

Me: You’re the middle.

Kid: I’m the middle; well, I’m the youngest sister.

Stylist: I was the middle child too.

Me: (Eyeing her) Isn’t it great being the middle child?

Stylist: Oh yea, it was great! My mom always told me you’re the most successful…

here’s where I will pause so that I could check my bank statement to see exactly how much more funds I need to transfer into my account to pay the shrinks.

…because you were the neglected one.