While perusing online gowns for my kids’ b’not mitzvah, it got me to thinking about when they’ll be buying prom dresses… sorority formal dresses and then… eventually their wedding gowns. But if I could give today’s child tips for finding a mate, I think I’ve come up with some really poignant questions.
So, without further ado, the millennial’s guide to dating, according to me.
- Do you own up to date hemorrhoid cream and if so, would you share?
- Do you rinse your razor after grooming and then rinse the wall?
- If you were to find dog shit on the floor, would you just pick it up or would you then lysol wipe the area as well?
- At what point do you put on new socks? t-shirt? shorts?
- Do you feel separating towels and sheets from clothing is important and why?
- If our future child were to make in our bed, would you immediately change the sheets- or would you continue to sleep if it wasn’t exactly in your spot?
- When putting a spread on your bagel, do you scoop enough onto your plate and use from there- or double dip- creating a swarm of poppyseeds in the container- ruining it for the next user?
- In the middle of the night- do you flush?
- If we were to have children, would you allow our middle child to scream non-stop for “mommy” or would you intervene and handle it?
- Do you use the same finger to double dip into the vaseline when applying some petroleum to your nasal cavity because you think the night air dries you out?
Now, certainly there are more pertinent questions one could ask, but I think this is a fair starting ground when searching for your missing piece.