Today I wanted to go to the local Reptile Convention to purchase a second lizard. Now, my middle child is going through some phase where she is constantly anxious, doesn’t want to be without me and is taking my summer and flushing it down the drain. An example of her big fuck you to my summer is this: in order for her to attend her 7 hour local camp, I need to sit in the office and count the sweat beads emanating from my neck creases.
In short, her fear is death- hers or mine. Now, years ago when she went through this stage, it was expedited when we were in a Payless. We were in different aisles; I was perusing the Cars sneakers and all the sudden my gray faced child came at me hysterical crying and hyperventilating because something she’d seen had scared her. In fact, she was so uncontrollable that I peeked around the next aisle to see what spooked her and you know what I saw? A woman in the Nation of Islam attire, with just her eyeballs showing.
In her defense, we do live in the USA and its not common in our neighborhood to see women covered from head to toe. Had we been in an Arab country, then we could expect that- as there it is the norm. If the season were Pesach and one were at the zoo- then one would expect to see hundreds of Jews walking about in black hats and long skirts with hoards of children.
Well today, as I was pulling into the parking lot of the Convention center, there were about 300 Muslims in the lot, cooking, selling things, washing and congregating at the IJTEMA Convention (look it up). If I tell you, it looked like downtown Syria and not Whitebread, USA.
Needless to say, what I wish I had known was there were numerous conventions going on at once, and the reptile convention was located on the other side of the lot, in Trailer Tattoo Town.