While driving my family home from golfing today, hubby had placed a soft pretzel fraught with salt, on a plate wedged between the gears and dashboard.

Naturally, when I went to make a turn, the plate started to fall and I tried to grab it. My intention- which he immediately found premeditated, was to stop it from falling. Instead, the salt spilled off of the plate and in the crooks of the gears.

Hubby: Well now look what you did!

Me: Are you kidding?? I’m driving and I should hold the plate so it doesn’t spill?

Hubby: Well its not my fault; this is all you.

Me: You’ll have to get a hose and hose it out.

Hubby: (Always bringing it back to his penis) I’ll give you a hose.

Me: That hose won’t work.

Hubby: You get what you get and you don’t get upset.

Me: If you say so….