Say Another Word, And I’ll Shoot

My daughter has been held up in her room for two days because she’s surfing the crimson wave. Now, its beautiful outside and she is capable of just sitting on the deck- but when Aunt Flo calls, she hibernates.

Today, her grandmother came over to plant flowers and asked why my monkey wasn’t swimming.

Bubbie: You know, you can sit outside even if you have your period.

Kid: I know, its just that its easier to stay inside.

Bubbie: Do you want to try a tampon?

Kid: No!

Me: Ma

Bubbie: OK. …All you have to do is put your leg up…

Kid: (clutching ears) Ahhhhhh

Me: Mom!

Bubbie: …You stick it in…

Kid: Ohhhh stop!

Bubbie:  …And once its in, its in. Do any of your friends wear tampons?

Me: She won’t use them, I’ve tried.

Bubbie: Do you want to help you?

Kid: (runs away) No, No, No….

Me: Eww.

…Between the sheep shearing and the tampon drill, she will be well versed for her therapist.

About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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