The Bad News Bears

My son is on a Little League baseball team; he has 4 coaches. Practices have been once a week with games being twice a week. The coaches are fathers- I’m presuming they played ball in their day, and they are pretty good at corralling the boys.

Sometimes however, their way of directing the kids could be considered old school. For example, today each child had to run from home plate to first base- as fast as they could…. after the coach swatted at their tushes with a baseball glove. And that’s not even the part that’s that old school.

Nope, the part I’m referring to is when they express their impatience or frustration when the little 8 year olds flub up. For example, during the pre-game practice, one child missed a fly ball and the first base coach said, “you have to keep your eye on the ball!” When another was hit in the back with a pitch and lay down to cry, the dads came rushing towards the kid- picked him up (I’d have checked for injury first) and rubbed his back out as they walked him to first base saying, “you’re alright, you’re ok. … tough it out.”

Our Coach: OK, gather round! Hustle! Let’s go! Aright, you’re going to keep your eye on the ball- pay attention! We’re going to go out there, and show them what we’re made of. You’re ready for this! Go out there and make us proud!

Kid 1: (runs onto field)

Coach: Get back here! Where’s your hat? Stay focused!


Now, the other team that my son’s was playing, well… let me explain their coaching method.

Coach: Wow, ok, we have 4 players today…. that’s just great. Well, you’ll get to bat often.

Kid 1: Where is everybody?

Coach: It’s Holy Communion today- at least the Jews showed up. Stein, Fein and Levine are all here. …And there comes Greenberg.

Kid 2: What’s a Holy Communion?

Coach: It’s like a Bar Mitzvah.

All: (hears my son’s coaches give their pre-game inspiration speech)

Kid 2: They’re going to kill us! Listen to them.

Coach: Listen, this isn’t the Cotton Bowl, this is a game and they are just showing off. Don’t worry about them, just have fun.

Kid: But they have 15 players and we’re only 4; we’ll never win.

Coach: You kids are going to do great and have fun- that’s what it’s all about… not about winning. Now go out there and have a good time.

…In the end, my son’s team won and did their post game, “OO-RAHH,” in their post game discussion huddle, and the other team, well, they went on with their day.

I’m just saying, there are two methods of coaching- the New York Jew style and the Philly Jew style.


About Lady in Red

mom of 3
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