My newest dog is an absolute a-hole. That’s right! For as cute as he is, he’s a true jerk. For instance, let’s say I have a pile of laundry on the floor that I’m preparing to wash… he’ll make a sissy on it. Or, after I wash the bathroom floor mat, he’ll make on that. In addition to this, he will chew on everything! I buy cordless headphones like one buys milk and this shnub will literally find them and eat them. The worst part is that I could hide them out of reach for months at a time, and the one time I don’t, they’re ruined by the time I find them.

Well this evening, this little farker decided to go outside in the rain and get all muddy. Fine, could I have walked him on a leash? Nope, because its wet outside and I’m done being on duty post 4pm. So now, I have abducted my throne to bathe him and must shower myself, all because I wanted someone else to love me shit on me.