We’ve all been there- you’re in a meeting, you notice the time and realize that you haven’t eaten. You’re starving- your stomach is making obscene noises- and you apologetically say something to the person next to you- letting them somehow know its not gas. Perhaps, you find acceptable gum on your person- not too laden with tissue lint nor completely stuck to your loose coins, and you chew it until both the pangs of hunger and the crunch of whatever else was stuck on it, dissipates.

However, one must draw the line at two types of food while hungry in public. That’s right- I’m talking about apples and pretzels. Now, you may be thinking, who in their right mind would eat something so loud in small, close quarters?

I’ll tell you- its the ones who probably chew gum while talking on the phone- perhaps grass graze chew as if they’re home alone…. the ones who probably don’t use the serving spoon to reach for more helpings …. or, those who simply have little concern for how their chew sounds to others.

You see, today I was in a cozy meeting- where one bit into what must have been an extra hard pretzel and chewed on it as if their hearing was on mute, and volume was on audacity.

Now, I get it- it was late- I, too, was hungry…. but of all the displayed snacks to choose for appeasing those pangs – that my friend, takes balls.