Monthly Archives: March 2019

Things That Go When You’re Over 40

The ability to… laugh sans urinating fart not shart read past 9pm use the restroom without needing both the fan and spray – just for #1 see the lone hair trying to escape my neck walk without a bra see anything … Continue reading

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Harry The Dirty Dog

My newest dog is an absolute a-hole. That’s right! For as cute as he is, he’s a true jerk. For instance, let’s say I have a pile of laundry on the floor that I’m preparing to wash… he’ll make a … Continue reading

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Gamblers’ Anonymous

The other day I took my son and his friend to a local indoor arcade-like facility. I had thought the 3500 points per child would have sufficed for the entire duration… but for one of the kids, I was wrong. Now, my … Continue reading

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46-50

For the past 10 weeks I’ve been in a step challenge with my coworkers- and for the past 10 week’s I’ve been first place. Don’t get excited- its not like we’re doing it for money. In fact, don’t get excited … Continue reading

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Sealed With A Miss

Today I went to put in a load of laundry when I noticed the frozen molasses like drip coming from the brand new detergent. At first I just twisted the opening- since usually that brings forth the drip. However, when … Continue reading

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Welcome To The Jungle

I found another annoying sound- that we can add to the list of gum chewing and phone eating… and that is nail clippers. While trying to figure out who was talking about whom, one woman who was getting a pedicure … Continue reading

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Yeah, That Hurts

Note to self: don’t go to the manicurist while walking around with a hang nail! When the woman drenched the nail polish remover on the cotton ball and placed it with foil over my finger, the pain was such that … Continue reading

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The Ventriloquists

One more time… why is it that when I’m getting a manicure (at any salon), the women talk in such a hushed tone to others across the room….and they all can hear each other? Literally its like, ne do nado nodo … Continue reading

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The UN

Today I went to get a manicure; I was really hoping to get another good massage and relax. However, my brain was in full throttle and each time I thought I’d take it easy, something else happened to avert my … Continue reading

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The Tin Man

I just left the gas station where the men who worked there- covered in what looked like soot btw, looked at me like I was the asshole. For months my car alert has been saying I need an oil change … Continue reading

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