There seems to be a significant difference between the Jews that I surround myself with… and gentiles. For example, the other day at a play group with my youngest, some friends of his shared the story of their Elf on a Shelf.

Boy 1: This morning I found my Elf on a Shelf in the kitchen on table… behind the cereal box.

Boy 2: My Elf on a Shelf was in my bathroom and he had a note- it said I had to flush the toilet.

Girl 1: My Elf gave me chocolate for listening to my parents.

Girl 2: My Elf was sitting on my desk and wearing my necklace.

While all of this was being said, my son and another Yidd looked at each other in disbelief- and the wheels began to turn- so much so that I had to quietly mouth to them, “Don’t say a word.”

Later, when I asked my son and the Yidd what they were going to say, they said this:

Son: How could anyone believe that a doll was real?? If you don’t have a heartbeat- you’re not alive.

Yidd: Do they really not know its probably their parents?

Son: I mean, don’t they wonder how Santa gets into their house and their alarm doesn’t go off?

Yidd: Forget that! How could anyone sleep knowing a stranger is coming into their home?

I rest my case.