Monthly Archives: September 2018

Flap Once If You Hear Me.

Yes, sure… I have a distinct methane that emits from my body- and unfortunately in my line of work, I must wait until I am home before I can let it go. So in the evenings, when my stomach is not … Continue reading

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TMZ’s Breaking News

Reporter: (to Rochelle) In a few words, could you tell us how you get the bed all to yourself- if your husband wants to get a good night’s sleep in his own bed and the children are always in it? … Continue reading

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Rodney Dangerfield Starring in “I Get No Respect”

Mother: Can you put the kids to bed since you’ve been gone and will be gone for another week? Father: (Murmur. Pregnant pause. Calls to kids in other room) OK everybody, its time for bed….. Come on son. Narrator: Father … Continue reading

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100,000 Pyramid- 2017

(60 seconds on the clock) Shampoo Conditioner Bathroom cups Q-tips Baking soda Vinegar Contact Solution What are “Items No Longer Permitted At Home”?  

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Does He Still Need A Kleenex?

I never leave home without tissues- and most of the time I will wear them in my bra. Before you pass judgement, when I’m pocketless, it comes in very handy. Nevertheless, while sitting in silent prayer during the sermon that … Continue reading

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The Sermon

I’ll make this real short: the new rabbi gave a sermon today on heartbeats. He said to hear one is both a happy and sad thing… Now, before I continue, I need to tell you of a situation that happened … Continue reading

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Big Mistake. Huge Mistake.

This summer I thought it would be fun to redecorate my two eldest children’s bedrooms. I spent hours and hours on end… shopping, researching, painting, shopping, researching, hunting… for things to make each of their rooms look amazing. And it … Continue reading

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The Sound of Silence

The other evening, after hubby and told and retold my second child to go back to her room, I had given her the ASL “go ahead” to quietly come into our room. In fact, she came so quietly that hubby … Continue reading

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525,600 Minutes

My son likes to play Fortnite- a game that can only be played on my cell phone due to certain upgrades available with my phone. However, his favorite app to play is Period Tracker. That’s right…. he likes to inform me … Continue reading

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Extra! Extra! Text All About It!

My child that is not the oldest nor the youngest, who also experiences frequent bouts of anxiety, informed me this evening that there was a son who killed his father and then dumped him in our adjacent town. Now, I … Continue reading

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