I’m thinking that the way things have always been done in the Jewish community when a loved one dies has to change. For starters, let’s talk fish. How can one have a fish platter for a bris and post coital bar mitzvah… and have it for the meal post graveside? I feel like death or weddings need to celebrated with different foods.
Besides, seeing the entire fish- eye included… its kinda morbid. Therefore, I’m thinking of some type of meal that would not include the death of an animal- for instance peanut butter and jelly or chips and salsa. Or, we could do away with the meal portion altogether and say, have a purge-party. This would involve the painting, packing and tossing of the departed’s belongings which is probably more helpful in the long run for the grieving family members. Either way, the traffic would be far less since people wouldn’t want to take off from work to paint or pat butter on their bread, which would be most helpful in the long run because then those in mourning could just sleep their sadness away without the shiva schleppers.